From a convoluted premise, that most probably only makes sense to viewers of Pirates I, Captain Edward Reynolds brags about his victory over his former colleague, the evil Stagnetti, but the sea has many secrets and Stagnetti is once more reborn. Before Edward can wrestle with that knotty problem he must first secure Serena’s freedom from the governor of Jamaica, who sends them on a mission to recover pirate gold. When the Chinese pirate empress Xifeng turns up with a plan to use Jules to capture Edward he is forced to fight the mythical dragon monster, surviving this all the characters are thrown together, but can Edward survive?...

Pirates II: Stagnetti's Revenge (2008 - 1 hr, 32 min,50 sec) is the R rated version of one of the most successful porn films. Directed by Joone, who co-wrote the script with Max Massimo, the film won an impressive fifteen awards at the Adult Video News Awards.
So what exactly do you get when they cut forty-five minutes of sex out of a porn movie? I’m not going to pretend that what we have here is a work of art, but it was a lot better scripted than I thought possible.

Porn remakes of successful movies are no new thing, but with Pirates I and II, we seem to be seeing a different trend. Previously if you had cut the sex the result would have been as random and confusing as Caligula was with the sex included, but these films have been made so they are just as entertaining either way.

On the plus side you have a funny script, which is full of un-PC irreverence in its approach to sex - with such smack in your face lines which unfortunately I can’t repeat here - but the film does contain some real laugh your arse off moments of guilty pleasure. The movie is full of special effects, some on the level of a PS2, some really quite good. OK good script and some nice special effect touches, but what about the acting?

The acting is really a bit of a mixed bag. Evan Stone, a man more used to acting with a part of his anatomy lower down than his face, turns out to be a good comedic actor and the highlight of the film as the idiot Edward. Steven St. Croix does a good turn as a depressed pirate, as does Katsumi as the evil Xifeng. Even the bad actors only add to the hilarity of the proceedings.

For those of you worried about the sexual content of the R rated version... well its tame. Everything is covered, apart from breasts and buttocks, which reduces its offensiveness to the level of a Carry On film, I leave it up to you whether this is a good or bad thing. The film won’t change your life and in this cut will most probably not frighten your granny, but if she is broadminded it just might put a smile on her face.

Although the PR blurb promises many extras, the disc supplied only had a trailer.

7

Charles Packer