I Know How Many Runs You Scored Last Summer   Starring: Jai Koutrae and Stacey Edmonds Anchor Bay Entertainment RRP: £12.99 ABD4787 Certificate: 18 Available 29 June 2009

When the bodies of two amateur cricketers are discovered, horrifically and somewhat uniquely dispatched, investigation leads the police to identify the culprit as an Englishman who had been bullied and violently physically assaulted at a cricket match years before as a youngster. It seems that the killer has decided to pick off those individuals involved in his abuse. A female police detective arrives in Australia from New Scotland Yard in England to help with the case. Together, they round up the other potential victims (those involved in the bullying) and place them in a remote safe-house. But the killer is one step ahead of them, and sets about continuing his revenge...

Trust the Aussies to devise a cricket-related horror film in which the psycho serial killer is a “Pommie.” Stacey Edmonds and Doug Turner co-wrote and directed this alternative slant on the stalker/slasher theme. With a cricketer devising weapons such as sharpened stumps, a cricket ball with long nails hammered through, and gloves with Freddy Krueger-like blades on the fingers - the film has much potential, but ultimately fails to live up to an early hint of promise.

The marketing blurb describes IKHMRYSLS as hilarious and bloody. Humour is an ingredient which can work quite successfully in horror (when handled correctly), but I didn’t detect one hint of it anywhere in the finished product - even from the characters, who were quite bland outside of the two main investigating officers. There’s plenty of violence and blood, but the film seems to scream out “amateur” all the way through, with seemingly little thought given to characterisation or plot development. Of course, many new filmmakers forget these important subjects but still manage to have fun that comes across on the screen... There’s little evidence of that here. Apart from one scene. No opportunity is lost in utilising Miss Nude Australia Arianna Starr in the longest and most gratuitous shower scene seen on film for some years. There’s even a longer version on the DVD’s extras.

Unfortunately, this offering is neither striking as a horror film or bad enough to be funny. It’s simply horror-by-numbers.

3

Ty Power