My Toys Like Me are a London synth-pop quartet consisting of Frances Noon, Lazlo Legezar, Charlie Boud and Alfonso Pisanelli. They have released their debut album, Where We Are.

There is not one track on this album that I can say I like and, no matter how bad an album is, I can usually find at least one track with interesting qualities.

Unfortunately, Frances Noon’s vocals are whiney, at times creepy, and downright annoying. Some people compare her to the sounds of Lily Allen; personally I think this is an insult to Allen. Allen has passion and feeling in her songs but Noon sounds flat. There is no emotion driving her, at least if there is it’s not portrayed.

'Sick Couple' and 'Barnaby' are both creepy songs and the vocals don’t fit with the beats or synth sounds.

'Sweetheart' sounds like a mish mash of noise and laser guns being fired, I just don’t know where anyone would listen to this music apart from in their own home. The electric guitar bursts throughout this track are annoying too.

Having previously reviewed 'Grin and Wriggle' from the Timo Maas/Mighty Mouse mixes the only good thing from this track is that it is much shorter in length and therefore has less time to hurt my eardrums.

One track that I can give a little positive feedback on is 'All Over My Face'. The Latin sounding guitar and brass go well with the slow sensual beat, it’s just a shame Noon is on the vocals.

The last track on this album is a cover of Van Morrison’s; 'The Way Young Lovers Do'. Great song - however Noon’s vocals murder it.

Unfortunately, this is a poor debut album and there doesn’t seem to be any love or feeling for the songs. I think I would give this a miss.

1

Helena Rea