Zombeak   Starring: Melissa K. Gilbert, Jason Von Stein, Tracy Yarkoni and Daryl Wilcher MVM RRP: £5.99 MLA5003 Certificate: 18 Available 01 March 2010

A waitress called Cooters is abducted by a motley crew of four young Satanists. Leviathan, Vascara, Gideon and Samuel intend to use her as a vessel for Satan to create his Anti-Christ spawn. However, the ritual is interrupted by three rescuers consisting of Cooters' fiancé Bobby Ray, Highway Patrolman Fasmagger, and Cooters' boss Max. The essence of Satan which has possessed Leviathan for the illicit coupling is driven away, revealing the so-called Satanist leader to be a cowardly turncoat. Rather than return to Hell, the essence seeks the nearest life-form in able to remain on Earth - in this case a dead chicken used as a sacrifice in the ritual. The reanimated chicken is effectively a zombie, and begins to savagely attack those close by, being indiscriminate in its choice of victim...

When a debut writer/director unveils his labour of love it is likely to be either a genre-bending inspiration or a work for which the originator shouldn't even have got out of bed. It's seldom something in-between. Certainly on paper the idea of a zombie chicken has potential. Just hearing about it makes you laugh. But the reality can be altogether very different. Here we have a project that, whilst enthusiastic, stumbles at almost every level. First and foremost, the chicken itself has to be gripped by the relevant victim and rubbed vigorously in his or her face. It just isn't at all convincing, and more importantly doesn't even make you laugh. The many other body effects are okay, but immediately identify themselves as looking false. The hitting or axing is stilted and unwieldy, with Cooters at times being portrayed as a vengeful Ripley-like action hero and never coming near to pulling it off.

The characters are diverse enough in looks and personality to potentially make them interesting. However, they are not used to their potential, and appear at times to be standing waiting for their cues from the director. If I appear to be coming down particularly hard on this film, it's because it could have been so much better. Comedy - even black comedy - is far from an easy balance in horror, but there was only one thing in the entire running time which made me smile, and that was when somebody shouted out the challenge, "Come on you Kentucky Fried piece of *hi*!" A disappointment.

2

Ty Power