Paintball   Starring: Brendan Mackey, Jennifer Matter, Patrick Regis, Neil Maskell and Iaione Perez Icon Home Entertainment RRP: £15.99 ICON10195 Certificate: 18 Available 15 March 2010

A group of strangers are blindfolded and transported to a secret location to take part in the ultimate paintballing adventure. Dressed in army fatigues, they are issued roles within the platoon and told to negotiate a number of flags. Entering a clearing containing old burned-out vehicles, they are suddenly fired upon. When one of their number dies, they realise with horror that the ammunition being used against them is real. Escape from their unknown assailants is impossible as they discover the entire area to be surrounded with an electrified fence. Their only option is to make their way to each flag where there is a case containing an item of protection. But there's a professional hunter who's not even playing by the assailants' illicit rules...

This must be the new Kenneth Williams film, Carry On Swearing, that I've been hearing so much about (yes, I know he's dead - and that isn't a real film either). Paintball doesn't so much possess a script as a list of profanities. I'm no prude, and I realise people pushed to the limit and fighting for their lives are more than likely to utter a few expletives along the way, but this simply sounds like a Tourette's sufferers convention. In fact, if you edited out all the running around and cursing there would be barely fifteen minutes of the film left.

Paintball borrows the premise from Hostel of putting on a horrifying and deadly show for the entertainment of unknown high-paying customers. However, whereas Hostel has those clients taking part in active torture, Paintball has a hunter tracking down and killing so-called paintball pros. There's a lot of time wasting in evidence here, and only about two minutes of action that actually means anything. Not recommended for viewers that require intelligent dialogue.

4

Ty Power