Suck   Starring: Rob Stefaniuk, Jessica Paré, Malcolm McDowell, Iggy Pop and Alice Cooper Distributor: Fabulous Films / Fremantle Media Enterprises RRP: £9.99 Certificate: 15 Release Date: 20 April 2015

A band which has been together for around ten years continues to tour in the desperate hope of making it big and getting a record deal. When the singer’s bass player (who is also his ex-girlfriend) wanders off one night with a strangely pale and confident figure, she returns the next day looking impossibly pale and distant herself. At first they believe it to be the result of drugs, but soon learn she is a vampire when she needs to eat. They begin to get noticed for the first time, due to the presence of the ‘cool’ and ‘captivating’ young woman in their midst. The others soon crave this attention themselves, and are turned, but the singer remains somewhat reticent and hatches a plan which might revert the band to their former selves. After all, vampires are monsters…aren’t they...?

It’s difficult to quantify this film, or at least do it the justice it deserves. When a project is written and directed by the same person, the likelihood is the finished item is going to be either brilliant (like most John Carpenter films) or truly awful (like too many to mention). In this case it’s much closer to the former... and he also plays the lead! I think he was very brave to call his movie Suck; he’s just asking for trouble from opinionated critics who won’t even give it proper consideration. But brave is what this is from start to finish.

I’m not normally attracted to (or should that be, sucked-in-by?) vampire scenarios – particularly the now hackneyed teen hunk and girlie premise. However, to describe Suck as different would be a monumental understatement. Individually, the ideas are sound but not exactly original, but put together in the right balance we are left with something I consider quite special. Try to describe this film to somebody and I practically guarantee you’ll flounder or make it sound stupid or inconsequential. But let’s give it a go anyway: Imagine a band road movie, which is a horror, musical, with tongue-in-cheek comedy, stop-motion model work and surreal imagery.

There is a very relevant and special cast on display here. Rock legend Alice Cooper plays a sinister barman who turns out to be much more; Iggy Pop plays an ex-Rocker and current record producer; Henry Rollins plays a rather loud and obnoxious DJ; Moby makes an appearance on stage as the singer of a band supporting a more well-known punk outfit whose audience throws meat in appreciation; and actor Malcolm McDowell of A Clockwork Orange fame plays Eddie Van Helsig – a vampire hunter who is afraid of the dark. If you don’t know who any of these people are you’re probably not going to enjoy what’s on offer here. There are slick visual depictive references to The Beatles’ Abbey Road album, and The Who’s The Kids Are Alright, as well as a brief scene at the Blues-famous (or infamous) Crossroads, accompanied by the Robert Johnson timeless classic song about making a pact with the devil. That actually describes succinctly the sacrifices the band makes to be considered cool and talented.

There is a veritable hatful of great songs in this film. There are the songs written for the fictitious band, The Winners, most of which are seen in an on-stage environment – although there are examples of songs done in an almost Rock musical style, or at least promotional video. On top of that there are loads of great songs played in the relevant genres of Metal, Goth, Rock, Punk and, in one case even Soul. 'I Am the Spider', by Alice Cooper; 'Here Comes the Night', by David Bowie; 'Oh! Sweet Nuthin’', by Loud Reed and The Velvet Underground; 'Success', by Iggy Pop/David Bowie; 'Sympathy For the Devil (Styrofoam Bible Version)'; and 'TV Eye', by The Stooges – to name just a few. Phew! Good stuff.

It was late on a work night when I started to watch Suck; I had all the intention of watching the first ten minutes before going to bed and picking it up the next day. An hour and twenty-odd minutes later the film ended, and I had enjoyed it so much that the first thing I wanted to do was watch the extras. The Making of… documentary has interviews with all the main players, as well as some behind-the-scenes and some stop motion demonstrations. I should just mention the stop motion work, which is quirky and purposefully shaky, periodically depicting the band’s hearse traversing increasingly dark and dangerous territory. It’s used as a sort of metaphor for where the band is mentally at each stage of the film.

Suck is a really pleasant surprise; it’s one of the most unusual and enjoyable films I’ve seen in ages.

9

Ty Power