Silver is a clumsy teenage virgin with raging hormones until a misunderstanding with a box of XXL condoms leads to a little rumour about his supposed giant size. Before long, this former loser is massively popular with kinky strippers, horny housewives and a town full of beautiful women who’ll bare everything for their chance at Silver’s extra something. Can a small-time guy with a suddenly huge sex life learn the difference between true love and larger-than-life lust...?

Though produced in 2006, this sex comedy has only just made it on to DVD in the UK. And I can see why Momentum Pictures took its time over the release, because this movie really isn’t very good.

It contains a few reasonably amusing scenes involving variously eccentric ladies with whom Silver (Patrick Censoplano) either fails to score or, in the case of Mercy (Cheryl Dent), actually does score - big time. There are numerous other semi-naked beauties, including Tara Rice and Playboy’s Jessica Canseco.

There’s even a worthy moral to the story about the fact that there’s more to love than having sex and that you always want what you can’t have. Before he gets it together with Mercy, he wants sex, but his girlfriend Sheila (Trish Coren) doesn’t. After being with the domineering Mercy for a while, Silver wants Sheila again.

However, that’s really all that’s good about this film.

Even the consequences of Silver’s reputed manhood aren’t followed through logically. Why doesn’t Mercy express surprise when she discovers its true size? A scene near the end of the picture reveals that she has reasons of her own for misleading Silver in order to keep him as her toy boy, but even so, why doesn’t Silver question it when Mercy exhibits no disappointment?

And was Gettin’ It the best title they could come up with? OK, I admit that most of the obvious size-related titles, including Size Matters, have already been done to death, but what about Sizing Up?

The only special feature on this DVD is the theatrical trailer, but that’s fine by me. I wouldn’t have fancied gettin’ a commentary to listen to as well!

2

Chris Clarkson