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In this bawdy, over-the-top rant-fest, award-winning screenwriter
and director Kevin Smith waxes rhapsodic and obnoxious on
everything from his platonic infatuation with Ben Affleck
to his bloodcurdling hatred of "Greasy" Reese Witherspoon,
from his shocking diagnosis of morbid obesity to the simple
pleasures of that cradle of civilisation known as New Jersey.
Silent Bob Speaks interweaves the best of his recent journalism
with a new introduction by Smith and is guaranteed to make
his legions of fans choke on their Cheerios...
Silent
Bob Speaks is
a collection of editorial columns Smith originally wrote for
websites and UK mens magazines. The
biggest problem I had with this book was Smith's insistence
on pretending to be humble. And he's fooling no one. In
one breath he'll be slagging off his own movies as rubbish,
cheap and worthless (something that seems to be a common theme
throughout this collection) and yet if anyone else should
hold that opinion he comes down on them like a ton of bricks.
Obviously he does not see his movies in that way, so why does
he pretend that he does?
There
are plenty of interesting tales within the pages of this book.
There are also some really creepy ones too - more of those
in a moment.
One
of Smith's more interestings stories has him coughing up the
money so that his wife can have a nude painting of herself.
It actually sounds like the perfect present for that woman
that you love - a legacy that Smith states will be passed
on to generation after generation long after his films are
forgotten. He describes it as his wife's more successful shot
at immortality.
Probably
the funniest, and most entertaining tale revolves around why
Smith hates "Greasy" Reese Witherspoon so much.
In fact, you'll probably come to feel the same way too when
you hear how she snubbed his ex-girlfriend, and star of Chasing
Amy, Joey Lauren Adams.
Also
of interest are his tales of greasy stools (not the three
legged kind) and a great interview with Tom Cruise.
There
are creepy additions in here too. The best example being the
wierdo that wrote to him to explain why they would be a better
partner for Ben Affleck than his girlfriend Jennifer Lopez.
But
I could have done without his Affleck love-in or his gushing
love of the Daredevil
movie. Sure, it's not a travesty of a film, in fact it has
a lot going for it. It's just that you'd think it was Citizen
Kane the way Smith talks about it. Mind you, Smith's column
on this was written and published before the film was on general
release.
There
is also an article that Smith wrote for The Face -
one that they wisely chose not to publish. It's crass, cheap
and not very original (or funny). But of course he doesn't
see this and instead launches into a verbal attack. If Smith
can't take rejection he shouldn't freelance. He did indeed
fail spectacularly to deliver what was asked of him and should
not be surprised that The Face spiked it.
On
balance, despite the fact most of the writings contained here
is a little on the old side, this is an entertaining read
and well worth parting with a tenner to flick through. Smith
is witty and a damn good film maker - but he can be a hell
of a creep when he wants to. Does the sun really shine out
of Affleck's arse?
Nick
Smithson
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