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The Holy Moly! Rules of Modern Life is the ultimate
guide to everything you ever wanted to know about - but were
afraid to ask, explained through hilarious quotes and comic
book style graphics...
For
those of you not in the know, Holy Moly! is a satirical
website... Actually, I say "satirical" but it's
not at the cutting edge of satire. Sadly it tends to lean
a little too heavily on swearing as a comedic crutch! But
then, like #34 in this book ("Sarcasm
may be the lowest form of wit... but it's still funny"),
it may be the lowest, cheapest way of getting a laugh... but
it still gets a laugh.
I do subscribe to their newsletter, and have for some time
now as childish humour, in very small doses, is incredibly
satisfying. But is a book in this style really worth spending
your hard earned money on? The answer is yes. Without a doubt!
I can't think of a better way to spend £7 than on this
collection.
This
is laugh out loud funny... wait a second. I usually avoid
books that have that as a quote from a reviewer - it's usually
a guarantee that the book won't even raise a smile. So
the
best way to test the theory is to see if you actually find
the following amusing or not...
Beginning
a sentence: "Now don't get angry..." will always
have the reverse effect.
It
is impossible to sing Copacabana without wiggling
your shoulders.
Slapping
your girlfriend in the face with your penis is not going
to want her to have sex with you.
Try
the above on your friends and family (well, maybe not the
last one) and see if they actually respond in the appropriate
way - they all did when I tried.
There
are some minor problems with this collection though. The woman's
magazine joke was mildly funny the first time, but by the
third variation I was starting to nod off. But on the whole
this is a first rate collection of rules that you really do
need to know. For example: "Attention fat people! Diet
Coke is not a magic potion" should be taught in schools.
It's
also worth reading all that usually dull small print at the
start of the book. While you might not give a fig about the
address of the publisher, or that a catalogue record for the
book is available from the British Library (I wonder how many
requests the British Library gets each year to see catalogue
records), there is an additional gag hidden away.
So
who is Holy Moly! then? According to the book's press release
he is a senior figure in the media but prefers to keep his
identity secret. Hmmm, a media type who wishes to remain anonymous?
Perhaps another rule that should have been added to the book
is:
#160
- If you are the owner of a satirical website, don't give
off the impression that you are actually someone influential
in broadcasting (like Kevin Marsh or maybe Keith Chegwin).
It won't, as you suspect, cause the media to spend years
debating just which famous media celebrity you are. They
will all suspect that the only contact you've ever had with
the media industry was two weeks temping at the Daily
Express - where you spent all day photocopying beauty
and Christmas party articles and dreaming of the day when
you could write your own column... that, or that you are
Richard Littlejohn.
Anyway
ignore all my waffling (I am just bitter, as it was me who
was once a temp at the Daily Express). You only need
to know one fact about this book. It is the only publication
you should be asking for this Christmas.
 
Darren
Rea
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