DVD
Read My Lips

Starring: Vincent Cassel, Emmanuelle Devos & Olivier Gourmet
Pathe
RRP: £19.99

P9058DVD
Certificate: 15
Available now


Carla is a hard of hearing and rather insecure secretary in a contracts company. When her boss instructs her to employ herself an assistant (you can tell this is fiction, can't you!), she approaches the task like a dating agency. Paul turns out to be a criminal straight out of prison. When some old "friends" materialise to demand money from him, Paul arranges to work in their club until he has paid off his debt. However, old habits die hard. Carla finds herself dragged by Paul into discovering the villains' current scheme, and relieving them of their money...

Oh dear! Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear! What, you want more? Sigh! Okay.

At one time I used to avoid subtitled films like the plague. That was before I learned non-English speaking dialogues do not necessarily relate to bad movies. The original Japanese version of The Ring, and the more recent masterpiece that is The Eye are two good examples. Unfortunately, this French film isn't another one. I was obliged to view Read My Lips in four sittings, as each time I started to watch it I felt myself slipping into a coma.

This is the kind of experience you need to set your alarm clock to endure; guaranteed, 10 minutes into it you'll be snoring contentedly. Dull? Bland? Pointless? Yes, all of those. There is a sense of going through the motions with no real drive or purpose in mind. It's difficult to know at whose feet to lay the blame: scriptwriter, director, cast; they're probably all equally at fault. It makes you wonder why they bothered. Bring back Power Ranger-Ninja Turtles, At least they were a lot about nothing. Read My Lips is nothing about nothing.

Now I understand why France was reluctant to sanction military action in the Gulf. They possess far worse weapons of mass destruction themselves. Drop a few dozen copies of this DVD on Baghdad and the entire city would lose the will to live.

Ty Power

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